We all know about that strong-flowing brown creek where we end up after one of our less intelligent decisions with no paddle to get us back to the safety of the bank. We just keep getting rushed along further and faster, until eventually, we sink.
As a rule though, along the way, we find a whole heap more negative actions to try and correct things; make them go away, so to speak.
‘De Nial is not a river in Egypt’ they say, but it’s a good place to begin the paddle
Denial is a good ‘go to’ for starters. Denial of responsibility I mean. We easily fall into the belief that people or circumstances outside our control are responsible for where we are and how we came to be there. But are they?
This is where it gets a bit tricky. We have all heard the ‘new agers’ repeating the mantra ‘you create your own reality’, but how many actually tell you what that means except for saying that all your thoughts create your reality. So how does that happen? That thoughts are energy and what you think manifests in your life? Really? Well if thats true, we should be able to think ourselves out of anything instantly. Never seems that easy though, does it?
Truth is, it’s the decisions we make, in line with our beliefs, that put us in the sticky situations we face as well as the great ones. We have an inner knowing of whats right vs what’s wrong but sometimes the ingrained beliefs override it. A couple of simple examples: Anyone who knows me, knows that I believe that family comes first, always. They also know that I have a great respect for the law and that rules are there to keep us safe and should be respected, always. But if something were to happen to my daughter and I believed her only hope was to get to the ER urgently and that meant breaking the speed limit to get her there – regardless of the lawful consequences – I would most likely take that risk, break the speed limit and get her there. So strong is that belief to protect the her, that everything I know goes by the wayside.
Creating reality – losing a paddle
So we pull into the ER with a police car on our tail with his lights flashing, I find out that life threatening or not, I’ve lost my licence on the spot and copped a $500 speeding ticket and an appointment with a magistrate. I’m also told that an ambulance could have come and treated her on the spot. The policemen point out that I could have cost someone else their life by driving like a maniac. But in a moment of panic, the facts went out the window and the beliefs took over.
The consequences of this would impact work; how do I get to work now without a licence? Relationship; through a stupid decision we are now a one income family with a new and unexpected big bill to pay. Family; I can’t even visit now because I no longer have a licence. On it goes, you get the picture.
Denial
Well hell, it’s not my fault, I was just doing what I thought was right. If that bloody copper hadn’t been there, everything would have been OK. If she had been doing the right thing, she wouldn’t have been hurt in the first place and none of this would have happened.
Really easy to blame everyone and everything else. Truth is, my stupid decision has impacted everyone. And I knew it was wrong.
Another fork in the creek, another paddle
So from here, there is another choice, another decision to make. There is the fork in the creek to the right which has a little rough white water but looks pretty good the other side of the rocks. There is the fork to the left that runs dark and deep but vision ahead is obscured. It would be far easier with one paddle to take the left fork and cruise along comfortably, blaming everyone and everything else. A few beers to bolster the self righteousness, a bit of anger to increase the isolation and when the end appears, maybe just keep paddling flat out in circles until you disappear….well, you know where you disappear to…
Or there is the fork to the right. Sure it will be a bit rough at the start but why follow one bad decision with another? If enough thought is put in, there will be a way through it. Sure, there is still that big bill to pay but maybe there’s another way to work. Maybe you’ve been thinking about studying or doing something else anyway and were too afraid to do it; this could be the right time.
It was a mis-take you made. Take responsibility and move on. Never look back, look forward and make it better. Always think how you can make things better and stronger and know that there will always be mis-takes but mostly we get to learn from them, grow in ourselves and then have that information and knowledge that we can pass on to prevent others from making the same ones that we did.
Create a great reality
Our thoughts and beliefs really do create our reality and keeping a rational open mind is not always easy. Life would be so much easier if we always had the benefit of foresight and could see how our decisions were going to turn out before we make them. But we only know what we know and after one of those steep ‘learning curves’ we do have the benefit of hindsight and thats something, no matter how painful, we should hang onto with all our might.